Hey there,

How’s it been going?

OK, here’s what I’ve put together for you this week:

• One big thing. Happiness and unhappiness aren’t opposites. OK, then what are they?

• You have to check this out. Only 28% of workers say the work they do is meaningful. Plus, a podcast masterclass on longevity.

• Tools & Tech. Not your average blood test.

Let’s goooooooo.

1️⃣ ONE BIG THING

The distractions of unhappiness.

You’ve seen a bullfight. 🐂 

If not in person, then at least you’ve seen Bugs Bunny pop up in a bullfighting ring after making a wrong turn in Albuquerque (he was trying to get a Carrot Festival in Coachella, well before going to festivals there was cool).

You certainly know the matador carries a red cape (a capote de brega, or fighting cape).

Bulls are color-blind. They don't hate red. What they hate is the movement of the cape. The matador waves the cape before the bull, triggering instinctual anger in his cranky bull brain. He is a bull, so when his fight or flight response kicks in, he fights. With the capote de brega needling his sensibilities the way leaf blowers do mine, he charges toward the focus of his discontent.

Shouldn’t his real focus be on the bullfighter?

Unhappiness is the waving red cape of your life. Our real target is happiness, but as you pursue it, your once-determined eyes notice movement in the periphery—the distraction of unhappiness.

Consider this question: Must unhappiness be vanquished in your quest to be happier?

Unhappiness comes in many forms.

As Tolstoy famously observed in Anna Karenina, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Last week I broke down the component parts of true happiness: enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.

Like happiness, unhappiness is not itself a singular feeling.

It emerges from a wide range of causes, such as:

• Painful emotions: sadness, anger, fear.

• Internal conflict: shame, guilt, self-doubt.

• Disrupted relationships: conflict, loneliness, rejection, dependence.

• Suffering: physical pain, grief, trauma.

• Uncertainty: anxiety, insecurity, hopelessness.

• Circumstance: envy, regret, frustration, leaf blowers.

• Stagnation: frustration, monotony.

• Lack of happiness: insufficient pleasure, connection, stimulation; emptiness, feeling lost.

That is quite a list. I’m sure if you reflect on things that make you unhappy, you could add a new word or bullet points to this list.

You understand unhappiness. You’ve felt it. You may be feeling it now, wondering why the heck you opened this depressing newsletter.

But might you share something in common with our provoked bull?

As we will see below, unhappiness is evolutionarily designed to focus our attention, to prompt us to search for solutions. Feel something negative ▶️ find solution to remove negative feeling ▶️ feel better.

However, this simple design also springs a surprising trap. Removing negative feelings is not related to experiencing extended positive feelings.

Charging at the pesky red cape temporarily removes it. But a life chasing after red capes is not a zero-sum game.

Let’s dig into why…

THREE SURPRISES ABOUT UNHAPPINESS

Over the past 50 years, our friends in the science department have learned a lot about unhappiness and its connection to happiness. Here are a few of their revelations:

Unhappiness is not a barrier to happiness.

Until well into the 20th century, unhappiness was seen as a lack of happiness. According to Arthur Brooks, "Positive and negative emotions were seen by psychologists as existing on a continuum. If you wanted to get happier, you had to become less unhappy. If your happiness was decreasing, then your happiness was increasing.”

Modern research has shown that happiness and unhappiness are not two sides of the same coin. The feelings associated with each are distinct. They can be felt separately, simultaneously, and in rapid succession. People can separate their positive and negative emotions.

Research monitoring the real-time emotions of over 11,000 people found:

Similar research by Nobel-prize winner Daniel Kahneman asked people to rate their positive or negative feelings during daily life activities. Working, caring for children, and commuting had the highest negative emotional rating. Sex, socializing, and relaxing had the highest positive emotional rating.

It is intuitive to think that removing unhappiness from your life will make you happier. If only I didn’t have to commute to work, I would be happy. But that isn’t how happiness works. Ditching the commute may shrink the time you spend unhappy each day. It may give you a momentary no-commute contact high. But it won’t increase your happiness. (If you’re still not sold, it is a testament to how ingrained this myth about unhappiness is.)

Being cranky is genetic.

If you’ve ever finished banging your head against the steering wheel on your commute and looked out the window to see another driver singing Don’t Stop Believing at the top of their lungs, you may have witnessed how genetics impacts happiness.

To determine the degree to which the variation in happiness and unhappiness between people is linked to genetics, researchers studied twins (identical and fraternal, raised apart and raised together).

This research included more than 13 independent studies with more than 30,000 twins (aged 12-88) in seven countries. Here is what they found:

Is that more than you would have guessed?

Are you curious about your natural set points for happiness and unhappiness?

You can find out with the PANAS test.

The Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS) is a psychological tool used to measure the intensity and frequency of positive and negative affect (mood). You can take the original questionnaire here (it takes 1-2 minutes).

This tool measures positive and negative affect as two independent things. You will get a score for each (on a comparative scale).

This reinforces the idea that positive and negative emotions, happiness and unhappiness, are two independent variables. Some folks have frequent highs and frequent lows. Others are rarely overly excited and rarely overly troubled. Here’s how to plot your score on a grid:

The good news is that, as in most things, your genes are not your fate. Understanding your natural tendencies can help you play to your strengths.

Unhappiness has a productive role to play.

The human brain prioritizes processing negative emotions to ensure survival. This is because threats are more likely to cause harm than positive things are likely to help. This is called negativity bias. “Negativity bias causes amplified emotional responses to negative events compared to positive events of equal magnitude," according to the team at The Decision Lab.

For example, being sad stimulates the part of the brain dedicated to solving complex problems (a part of the prefrontal cortex). In this way, negative emotions trigger solutions to complex life problems.

Going further, researchers have proposed that some forms of depression are part of normal psychological functioning, explaining that “depression is an adaptation that evolved as a response to complex problems and whose function is to minimize disruption of rumination and sustain analysis of complex problems.” (They distinguish this from depressive disorders.)

Translation: negative emotions can drown out everything else, allowing the parts of your brain best suited to solving complex problems full access to your attention and mental processing power.

This is the same pathway that helps explain why so many great artists, writers, and composers have struggled with persistent emotional torment.

Pulling out weeds does not cause flowers to grow.

Unhappiness will always be with you. To live is to struggle. The dose, depth, and duration of pain, heartbreak, guilt, or anxiety are not doled out evenly or fairly.

Effort, assistance, or luck can ease unhappiness in our lives. In some cases, only time can heal. Even then, in the case of grief, trauma, and more, time will always be an incomplete healer.

If you fill a planter box with dirt, weeds will always grow (I blame the leaf blowers). Just as unhappiness will always find you. Pulling out weeds is necessary to make space for flowers to grow. But for bluebonnets, daisies, and sunflowers to blossom, you need to plant seeds and add water and care. 🌻 

Culling unhappiness and cultivating happiness are separate yet connected processes.

That’s it for today.

I’m going to go water my garden.

BONUS CONTENT

This bonus content was added to provide further detail on some topics after this newsletter was distributed. DISCLAIMER: This content was drafted using AI tools (then edited by me).

The Complex Relationship Between Happiness and Genetics

Understanding the role of genetic and environmental influences is crucial for optimizing health and happiness. Genetic factors can significantly impact various aspects of well-being, including happiness and life satisfaction.

Genetic influence plays a significant part in overall happiness, intertwining with environmental factors such as physical wellbeing, social networks, and income.

Genetic influences are also explored through genetic markers, which help establish associations with life satisfaction and other health-related behaviors.

Recent genetic research highlights the heritable component of happiness, suggesting that genetics may play an important role in shaping human characteristics and life satisfaction.

Genetic testing can provide personalized insights into one's predisposition to happiness by analyzing genetic variation. About 33% of life satisfaction is attributed to genetic factors, with specific genes like the serotonin transporter gene (5-HTT) playing a role.

Understanding the genetic and environmental influences on emotional regulation is crucial for overall well-being. Factors such as serotonin transporters and life satisfaction in relationships correlate with mental health outcomes, emphasizing the importance of social connections and personal satisfaction for healthy aging.

Research has also highlighted the role of specific personality traits, particularly those associated with the Big 5, in determining levels of happiness and overall well-being. Understanding these traits helps showcase how genetics and environmental factors interact to influence happiness.

As discussed in my newsletter The Shared Happy Pill, a longitudinal study has shown that the quality of one's relationships plays a significant role in predicting physical health outcomes as individuals age, surpassing traditional factors like genetics and personal lifestyle choices.

Happiness is a complex interplay of genetic and environmental factors. While there isn’t a single “happiness gene,” research has identified several genetic variants that influence our predisposition to happiness. Take the 5-HTTLPR gene, for instance. This gene regulates serotonin levels in the brain, which are crucial for mood regulation and life satisfaction. People with certain variants of this gene may find it easier to experience happiness.

However, genetics is just one piece of the puzzle. Environmental factors, such as our relationships, lifestyle choices, and life experiences, play a significant role in shaping our happiness. Imagine two people with similar genetic makeups: one surrounded by supportive friends and engaging in fulfilling activities, and the other isolated and stressed. Despite their genetic similarities, their levels of happiness could be vastly different.

This gene-environment interaction underscores the importance of nurturing our surroundings and making conscious choices that promote well-being. While we can’t change our genetic blueprint, we can certainly influence the environmental factors that contribute to our happiness.

The Power of Relationships and Community

Strong social connections and a sense of community are cornerstones of happiness. Research consistently shows that people with close relationships and a robust support network tend to be happier and more resilient. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest studies of adult life, found that close relationships were a key predictor of long and happy lives, even more so than social class, IQ, or genes.

Think about it: having someone to share your joys and sorrows with, to lean on during tough times, and to celebrate your successes can significantly boost your life satisfaction. It’s not just about the number of friends you have but the quality of those relationships. Deep, meaningful connections provide emotional support, reduce stress, and enhance our overall well-being.

Moreover, being part of a community or having a sense of belonging can elevate our happiness levels. Whether it’s a neighborhood group, a hobby club, or a professional network, feeling connected to others fosters a sense of purpose and fulfillment. So, invest time in building and nurturing your relationships. Join groups that interest you, reach out to old friends, and make an effort to connect with new people. Your happiness will thank you.

Read more in my newsletters The Shared Happy Pill and Annual Social Fitness Checkups.

Mindfulness, Self-Awareness, and Positive Thinking

Mindfulness, self-awareness, and positive thinking are powerful tools for enhancing happiness. Practicing mindfulness, such as through meditation or deep breathing exercises, helps reduce stress and increase feelings of calm and well-being. By focusing on the present moment, we can better manage our emotions and reactions, leading to a more balanced and contented life.

Self-awareness involves understanding our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By becoming more self-aware, we can identify areas for improvement and make positive changes. For instance, recognizing that certain situations trigger negative emotions allows us to develop strategies to cope with them more effectively.

Positive thinking, on the other hand, involves focusing on the good things in life and practicing gratitude. Research has shown that people who regularly engage in positive thinking tend to be happier and more satisfied with their lives. Simple practices like keeping a gratitude journal, where you jot down things you’re thankful for each day, can shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.

Incorporating these practices into your daily routine doesn’t require a complete lifestyle overhaul. Start small: take a few minutes each day to meditate, reflect on your thoughts and feelings, and note down things you’re grateful for. Over time, these small steps can lead to significant improvements in your overall happiness and life satisfaction.