Welcome back!

How have you been doing?

OK, here’s what I have for you today:

• One big thing. Passion is not purpose. Purpose is only part of meaning. The words we use for life’s big questions often get mixed up. Let’s fix that.

• You have to check this out. Do nuns have midlife crises?

Let’s jump in! 🦘

1️⃣ ONE BIG THING

What’s the meaning of meaning?

If you’re like me, at some point you’ve asked yourself, “What’s the point?”

Maybe you said it after your fourteenth meeting of the week.

More likely, you’ve asked a deeper question: “Why are we here? What’s the point?”

Many of us ask these world-orienting questions when we’re younger.

But they tend to pop back up in midlife, don’t they?

Whether it’s the death of someone very close, a major life transition, or a big external event, staring down these existential questions in midlife is destabilizing.

To regain your footing, it is critical to understand what question you are really asking.

People often use words like "meaning" and "purpose" interchangeably. They stir in terms like life goals, passions, or values.

You know these words mean different things. But what exactly do they mean, and how are they related to one another?

Here’s the key point:

If you have that nagging feeling that something is missing, or life events unmoor you from your foundations, an essential starting point is being clear about which part of this puzzle best defines the void you are feeling.

Here’s an example of two questions that sound similar, but are fundamentally different:

1. Life is full of beauty and suffering. You live, love, work, play, and die. But what does it all mean? Is there any meaning at all?

2. I can see the world is connected, and actions produce meaningful outcomes. But why am I here? What is my purpose in this larger story?

In A Confession, Leo Tolstoy wrote:

In this passage from 1882, you can see Tolstoy wrestling with questions of both purpose and meaning.

Since that time, psychologists and others have worked tirelessly to parse the meaning of these words and establish their relationships with one another.

My goal for today is simple: I want to present the commonly accepted definitions of these key terms, show how they relate to one another, and provide a map-based metaphor to make remembering these easier.

I’ve also included links to key research papers for those who would like to learn more.

I will dive deeper into these topics in the future. I want to lay out this foundation first, so I can refer back to it.

The five terms I am going to define are:

1. Meaning

2. Purpose

3. Coherence

4. Significance

5. Values

MEANING

Meaning is the felt experience that life makes sense, has direction, and matters.

There are three essential components that all must come together for life to have meaning:

1. Purpose – life has direction.

2. Coherence – life makes sense.

3. Significance – life feels valuable.

Meaning isn’t a single pursuit; it’s the integrated sense that your story fits together and points somewhere that matters.

From the research:

• “Meaning is thus about life as interpreted by a being capable of reflective thinking… We thus define meaning in life as emerging from the web of connections, interpretations, aspirations, and evaluations that (1) make our experiences comprehensible, (2) direct our efforts toward desired futures, and (3) provide a sense that our lives matter and are worthwhile.” — Martela & Steger (2016). The three meanings of meaning in life: Distinguishing coherence, purpose, and significance.

• “Meaning is conceptualized as the subjective experience of perceiving life as fitting into a larger context and finding significance in it.” — George & Park (2013). Meaning in life as comprehension, purpose, and mattering: Toward integration and new research questions.

PURPOSE

Purpose is a stable life direction that focuses your energy on something beyond yourself.

Purpose motivates action. According to Damon et al (2003), it is “a stable and generalizable intention to accomplish something that is at once meaningful to the self and leads to productive engagement with the world beyond the self.”

Purpose is not something you will ever achieve or complete… it is the direction towards which you point your effort in life.

We can better understand purpose by contrasting it against two terms that are often confused or conflated with purpose:

• Passion – A strong inclination toward a self-defining activity that you like (or love). Passions are tied to identity, and often include words ending in “er”, such as painter, runner, learner, explorer, etc. Passions are not (by themselves) your life’s purpose.

• Goals – These are contained, time-bound mileposts in your life. They include methods of receiving feedback. Goals are discrete accomplishments that can be clearly defined and checked off as complete (purpose cannot). They include life goals such as raising wonderful children, having a successful career, and being a great friend. Life goals are not your purpose.

From the research:

• “Purpose can be characterized as a central, self-organizing life aim. Central in that when present, purpose is a predominant theme of a person’s identity. Self-organizing in that it provides a framework for systematic behavior patterns in everyday life.” — Kashdan & McKnight (2009). Purpose in Life as a System that Creates and Sustains Health and Well-Being: An Integrative, Testable Theory.

SIGNIFICANCE

Significance is the evaluative sense that your life is worth something — that your journey matters.

Significance grows when you live in alignment with your values and purpose, creating a felt sense that your life has worth beyond utility or achievement.

It connects meaning to mattering: not just making sense or progress, but making a difference.

From the research:

• “Significance is about finding value in life… significance is about evaluation, while purpose is about motivation.” — Martela & Steger (2016).

COHERENCE

Coherence is the mental map — the sense that the terrain of your life and your world fit together in a way that makes sense to you.

It is the cognitive side of meaning, the ability to connect experiences into a narrative that holds together. When coherence is strong, you can see patterns and continuity even through change or hardship.

Coherence doesn’t require control; it requires comprehension.

From the research:

• “Coherence is about describing the world as it appears to the individual, while significance and purpose aim to find value in the world… Human effort to find coherence is thus an attempt to create accurate mental models of the world to facilitate predictability and consistency.” — Martela & Steger (2016).

AS A RECAP, the feeling that life has meaning involves three elements:

1. Life has direction (purpose).

2. Life matters (significance).

3. Life makes sense (cohesion).

Unpinning all these are your values.

VALUES

Values are the compass of a meaningful life.

If purpose implies an intent to pursue something that is personally meaningful and to make a positive impact on the world, the choice you make and the way it makes you feel will be inherently defined by your values.

Values are meaning’s implicit foundation.

• Purpose reflects one’s chosen life aims (values define what is worth pursuing).

• Significance reflects perceived worth (values define what counts as worthy).

• Coherence depends on one’s worldview (values make that worldview coherent).

From the research:

• “Purpose can be characterized as a central, self-organizing life aim. Central in that when present, purpose is a predominant theme of a person’s identity. Self-organizing in that it provides a framework for systematic behavior patterns in everyday life. People who have a strong sense of purpose organize their other goals around this central theme, and their purpose helps them to prioritize behaviors that are congruent with their core values.”— Kashdan & McKnight (2009).

Map as Metaphor

I often find maps ideal metaphors. Here is a nice way of remembering some of the key ideas above:

Why these terms matter for taking the next step.

If you are staring down life’s bigger questions, it can be overwhelming. The foundations that gave your house stability are shifting. The feelings that arise from this are often fuzzy and difficult to distinguish.

However, if you can work through these feelings enough to realize you have a problem with direction in life, then you now know you have a problem tied to purpose (one-third of your meaning support structure is wobbly). There is a ton of great research and advice on purpose, which I will dive into soon.

But if you feel like nothing really matters, then you have a significance problem. You can read all you want about uncovering your purpose. It will all ring hollow.

As Einstein said:

“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on it, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask.”

To ask the right questions, you have to know the right words.

Thanks for reading.

See you next week.

Kevin