Good morning,

How was your week? My phone tells me it’s October, but that can’t be right. What does yours say? 😉

I’m in Montana this weekend, heading south toward NW Arizona over the next week or two.

Here’s what I have for you today:

• One big thing. Last week focused on happiness. How does this compare to meaning? What aspects of life contribute to one vs. the other? ☯️

• You have to check this out. Have you noticed how many people are doing things “intentionally”? 📉

  • Also, Gen Xers, when you go to work meetings, do you bring a pen and paper or a laptop? You’ll want to check out the video at the end of today’s letter. ✍️

Ready to jump in? 🦘

1️⃣ ONE BIG THING

More to life than happiness? Part 2.

Welcome back.

This is a continuation of last week’s letter, Is there more to life than happiness?

I talked about the key concepts psychologists use to define happiness:

• The subjective experience that life feels good right now. On balance, you are experiencing positive, pleasant emotions more than negative, unpleasant ones.

• A broader feeling that your life, taken as a whole, is going well. 

The primary contributors to happiness are having what you need, getting what you want, good health, and social engagement. Happiness occurs in the present tense and can be fleeting.

And I began to contrast happiness and meaning, using the fictional characters Olivia (the influencer) and Artem (the Ukrainian soldier).

I described research from Baumeister et al, “Some key differences between a happy life and a meaningful life,” that found that about half of what drives happiness also drives meaning. Conversely, about half does not.

For Part 2 today, let’s dive into the idea of meaning.

What makes for a meaningful life?

One approach is to look at what makes meaning different from happiness (the focus of the Baumeister research). Their research found that meaning is:

1. Lodged in culture.

2. Connected to expressing identity.

3. Oriented outwardly.

4. Exists across time (integrating past, present, and future).

The culture of meaning.

If happiness is rooted in nature, meaning is rooted in culture.

Consider the way language works. Words are just socially agreed-upon stand-ins for things and ideas in the world. When you say grapefruit, everyone who speaks your language knows what that refers to.

Each word relies on an interconnected network of meanings, which is language. A grapefruit is a category of edible fruit, as is a grape. Languages are created over generations and culturally transmitted.

Meaning works similarly.

“Appraising the meaningfulness of one's life thus uses culturally transmitted symbols (via language) to evaluate one's life concerning purposes, values, and other meanings mostly learned from the culture.

“Meaning is thus more linked to one's cultural identity than is happiness," explain Baumeister and Co.

Although you might think mostly about “personal meaning” (this is the part we all care about), “meaning itself is not personal but rather cultural. It is like a large map or web, gradually filled in by the cooperative work of countless generations.

“An individual’s meaningfulness may be a personally relevant section of that giant, culturally created, and culturally transmitted map.”

Isn’t that a beautiful idea?

This helps explain the power of meaning in human life. It is a central driver of our species’ success. We are a social species. Meaning is the glue and the fuel that makes this work.

I don’t say that to brush aside the power of personal meaning in your life. Instead, this evolutionary context helps explain why that meaning is so powerful.

This brings us to the second way that meaning is distinct from happiness.

Expressing your identity enhances meaning.

If meaning is rooted in culture, consider your identity a conduit connecting you to your culture.

Here’s a simple example: Many people find meaning in being the type of person who always helps others. That is an identity. However, it requires living in a culture where that type of behavior is viewed positively. If crowds booed whenever you held open a door for a parent carrying a baby, your identity would be more outlaw than helper.

"We make up selves from a tool kit of options made available by our culture and society," says philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah.

Culture shapes identity by supplying the language, stories, and standards against which we measure ourselves. Who I am only makes sense in relation to what my community values.

Being the type of person (identity) valued by your culture creates meaning.

 “Caring about how one’s self is defined within society is part of having a meaningful life,” the researchers Baumeister et al concluded.

They had their research participants rate a series of 37 activities, assessing whether each one reflected their identity.

Of the 37 activities, 25 yielded statistically significant positive correlations with meaningfulness, but only 2 had significant positive correlations with happiness.

Quite a few activities were negatively correlated with happiness yet positively correlated with meaning—including arguing, worrying, buying gifts for others, and taking care of kids. (BTW – If you aren’t sure “worrying” is an activity that expresses identity, you have never met a worrier. Or an arguer.)

I like to think of identity as “I’m the type of person that ________.”

Where identity is about sacrificing near-term happiness for long-term meaning, it is often a matter of concern for others (arguing, worrying) or exerting effort on behalf of others, which brings us to the third aspect of meaning.

Meaning is outwardly oriented.

Last week, I said that “having your core needs met” and “getting things that you want” both make you happy but don’t contribute to meaning.

Remember Olivia relaxing by the pool and basking in the sparkles of the new necklace her boyfriend gave her? Her need and want cups are full. To the degree her relationship with her boyfriend provides for her wants and needs, it contributes to her happiness.

“Insofar as happiness is about having one’s needs satisfied, interpersonal relationships that benefit the self should improve happiness,” Baumeister et al explain. “In contrast, meaningfulness may come instead from making positive contributions to other people.”

This is the classic taker versus giver dynamic. Seen through this lens, taking increases happiness (which is always fleeting), while giving enhances meaning.

Meaning comes more from an outward, other-orientation than an inner, self-orientation.

For example, people find meaning in taking care of children (or others in need), but this can involve a lot of present-tense unhappiness.

Projects imbued with meaning are often about investments over time, which brings us to our final aspect of meaning.

Meaning takes time.

If you remember, I talked about the key aspects of happiness last week. One of them was that happiness is present tense.

Meaning, on the other hand, links events across time, integrating the past, present, and future.

One way to think about this is that meaningful endeavors take time. They are often about aligning present actions consistently, over time, to achieve a meaningful result.

Let’s look at a few examples.

If you remember Arkem, the Ukrainian soldier from last week, his sense of meaning comes from memories of his country, fear of loss, shared identity, and commitment and sacrifice to secure a desired future. Meaning links the past, present, and future.

Raising kids takes time. Education takes time. Building a career takes time. Meaningful projects take time.

When happiness and meaning come together.

The Baumeister et al research focused on finding the key differences between happiness and meaning—and which activities in life tend to produce each.

As I said before, they found that 50% of activities and experiences are unique to happiness (they don’t contribute to meaning), and 50% are unique to meaning.

This means there is another 50% that contributes to both happiness and meaning, as shown below.

What types of things fit this dual-benefit category?

The short answer: They all relate to social engagement and belongingness.

I won't get into that topic today, but you can find much more on this idea in my letter, The Shared Happy Pill.

The inverse, of course, is loneliness. Here, it is important to remember that psychologists describe loneliness as the perceived gap between the social connection you have and the amount or quality of connection you desire.

A happiness-meaning framework (mashed together edition).

Let’s wrap up with a summary. This is inherently a hodgepodge of varied concepts, but it might help.

Contributing to happiness (not meaning)

• Having your core needs met.

• Getting things you want; buying gifts for yourself.

• Pleasurable things (to you).

• Good health; absence of pain and health-related worry.

• Present-tense.

• Living in the now.

• Receiving things from others (taker).

• Feeling good more often than feeling bad.

• Living the good life (life satisfaction).

Contributing to meaning (not happiness)

• Activities that express your identity (unique to you).

• Helping, caring, worrying about others.

• Acts of kindness; volunteering.

• Giving things to others (giver).

• Being part of something bigger than yourself.

• Investing time/sacrifice for longer-term goals.

• Reflecting on overcoming adversity, struggle.

Contributing to both:

• Social engagement.

• Feeling connected to others and groups.

• Sense of belonging.

Thanks for reading this.

This one took me longer to write than most weeks. Writing forces you to clarify your thoughts, but in this case, I am not sure how successful I was. Janky writing is a sign of flimsy understanding.

To borrow a phrase from Tony Kornheiser, I’ll try to do better next time.

Speaking of which, here’s my Big Finish:

The happiness-meaning divide may seem like a matter of semantics, but I think it is much bigger than that.

The happiness industry is real, and there is not a single thing wrong with chasing happiness and being happy. We should all be so lucky to find it where we can.

My instinct, however, is that there are hidden dangers in seeing happiness as life’s ultimate goal:

• Happiness is always temporary.

• Most people have a happiness set point. Their lives can get measurably better, but their happiness level stays the same (hedonic adaptation). Much of this is hereditary.

• Happiness can be shallow, leaving you feeling there must be… more.

A clear understanding of happiness versus meaning seems like a helpful first step in moving beyond happiness to something more meaningful.

Do you agree?

📺 VIDEO

Handwriting Literally Rewires Your Brain

Over the past decade, I have walked into plenty of work meetings where I am the only person without a laptop.

I love tech and my laptop, but I don’t want or need it for most meetings.

So, the question is: Am I just old and by extension, old-fashioned?

Well, yes, of course. But it turns out I was onto something with my notepad and pen.

Neuroscientists have been studying what happens inside your brain when you write by hand versus type.

In the video below, discover what EEG brain scans reveal about handwriting and why "slower" might actually be faster for your brain.

This is really worth a watch (it’s just under 10 min):

I’m walking down the street for a beer at Montana’s only real honky-tonk.

Intentionally.

Thanks for reading today, my friend.

Kevin

P.S. If you like this newsletter and want to support it, forward it to a friend with an invitation to subscribe right here: news.secondactcreator.com/subscribe.

P.P.S. If you’d like to continue reading, here are two recommendations:

1. Your Culltural Life Script: Why are your strongest memories from when you were 10-30?

2. Midlife Growth Mindset: “I’m too old for that” isn’t just a passing thought. It’s a mindset that quietly rewrites your future.